Resolution-less-ist

 

Once upon a time, a long time ago, I made a resolution, or two or three, at the beginning of every year. I’d reflect on the previous year and think about all of the things I didn’t get right or didn’t try. Not once would I remember what my resolution was for the year I was reflecting on. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter because by day three of any new year I had already broken the promise I made to change this or that, including and especially if the promises were to change any of my behaviors. Toward the end of a year, on the verge of the beginning of a new one, resolutions became another way for me to create expectations of myself that were likely unattainable. I’d aim so high I’d fail.

One year, and I don’t remember which one, I decided to stop with all of that. Sounds like a resolution doesn’t it? “I resolute to not make any more resolutions” but it wasn’t. I didn’t promise myself I’d do or not do something in the coming year. I didn’t look back over the year and say I failed or succeeded at anything and try to fix it or get better at it with the promise of the new year.

It doesn’t mean I stopped working on myself or trying to work on self-improvement throughout the year. I take a micro approach to self-improvement endeavors. Instead of looking back at a whole year or forward to a new one with negative connotations, I created a positive perspective of being a work-in-progress with short, medium, and long-term goals that I tweak as I go. I figure out what I am doing right and do more of that. Whatever it is that isn’t working I let it go.

I do enjoy the leap from one year to the next. I’m not sure why I like the New Year feel. Maybe because the holidays are over so the house feels roomier, and somewhat cleaner, without all of the decorations. Maybe because it’s staying lighter longer and more of that feels good. Maybe because January is my birthday month and I like celebrating. Maybe it’s because I’ve become a Resolution-less-ist and enjoy the moment of one-year ending and a new one beginning without the added stress of once a year setting goals to fix my perfectly imperfect self with empty promises.